Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Christmas Paz

Amazingly, I got my work table clean in time for Christmas Eve. It took hours. (This time, I didn't shove everything in boxes under the table and put an extra long tablecloth over everything.) This time, I sorted. I organized. I rearranged. I packed. I put things in little compartments and drawers and baggies. I had bought two beautiful little dark wood mult-drawer rolling carts which had stood basically empty all Fall. I labelled them very discreetly with little old fashioned letter stickers -- r, o/y, g, b, v, etc., and filled them with the junk, er, I mean, supplies off my table. Well, not filled, just organized.

Last night after everyone left and I had put the food away, it was very late but I got out a little bag of goodies I bought at Mama's Minerals' 50% off sale yesterday, and it was so awesome to be able to look at my new beads, then turn around and pull out the exact beads I thought would look cool with them.

Organized. It's a whole new world! But I can't wait to mess up my table again. ;-)

Oh and in other news, unfortunately a relative has developed a problem with alcohol and like others in our world and yours, it's gotten progressively worse, because that's what alcoholism does. Thanksgiving was awkward and a bit uncomfortable although the relative isn't a crazy drunk. So my DH and I decided it was once again (something you have to do now and then over the years) time to declare our home alcohol free over the holidays. We called the relative to let them know, very simply and not in a mean way, and although it seemed to go well, that entire portion of the family decided it would be more fun to go to a casino for Christmas Eve. (lol ;-)

I know we did the right thing. There was a time when I had a sign in my house that said, "Mi casita de paz" -- my little house of peace. I'm certainly compassionate about alcoholism, and for that matter addiction and mental health issues and all those other things we don't choose to be afflicted with, but if there's anywhere on the planet I have some rights to choose my influences, it's in my own home. I wasn't so surprised the one relative chose to stay away, but I was disappointed that the others didn't come.

So today we travel to another relative's for Christmas Day. And maybe we'll meet up with our drinking relative, and maybe we won't. But I know, whatever happens, it will be ok.


  1. Good for you, DH and I have been sober for many years, and although I don't have any problem with anyone drinking socially in our home (that would be 2 drinks or less), I don't feel the need to be subjected to those who overindulge.
    We have a neighbor who is a nice enough man when he's sober, but we've had to ask him not to visit when he's been drinking. Sad...

  2. If we don't stand for what is 'right', who will? You did the best thing for you and also for the one with the problem. If he/she doesn't realize it's a problem because no one lets them know.... then what?

  3. Thanks Susan. I know we did the right thing. We're comfortable with it. But it's bound to make ripples in the family dynamic, ya know?

  4. You did the right thing, Mary. I used to be married to an alcoholic and many a holiday was ruined due to his overindulging. Good for you, to stay strong and draw that line. Those people who matter will understand.

  5. Thank you Arline 8-) (and a big holiday hug to ya) I was a little hesitant to post about the situation but I knew there would be others who would understand. 8-) I remember when it felt very, very uncomfortable to have to set boundaries like this. It's still uncomfortable, but in a positive way. Hopefully it will be good for everybody, including the alcoholic, ya know?

  6. Mary, I grew with holiday horror over alcohol; married more trouble;
    decided to start at home and got sober myself about 20 years ago and since have a safe and sober household.. at this point I even keep a bottle of wine around with dinner for those who choose, but no fights, drunks, meanness, or violence in this house.Many people never came back, many new ones did.. it all evened out. Some more got sober, some stopped their codependency but above all there was peace..peace,heavenly peace.

    Blessings to you at this magical time and I hope your loving action will help your people reflect...
    Joan T Off Center Productions

  7. Oh my gosh, thank you Joan. You appreciate what a blessing it is to have a peaceful home (as much as we can), and to guard that. 8-)

  8. For many years my grown daughter declared an alcohol free zone at her home and out of respect for her we never drank either in her presence. It is a simple matter of respect and support. None of us missed the alcohol and especially on the holidays which is a time I think for peace as you said. If it's that important to drink then something is wrong. xo


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