Monday, September 29, 2008


Over the weekend I ate processed guacamole, and I feel I've betrayed all that is Southwestern and natural. There is no reason to eat processed guacamole. Don't know where guacamole originated but I suspect it's a Spanish-speaking place and I don't know where acavados come from, originally, but it ain't New Mexico or I'd have a tree in my back yard. Still, guacamole is standard fare around here, along with sour cream and salsa. Yum! I eat it with blue corn chips, fajitas, and whatever else I can get away with.

I was telling my sister I sinned and ate processed guacamole and she asked me how I make it. I'm like... "With a fork?"

She laughed, but that is actually an important clue. You do not blend guacamole. You really don't even need to use a knife if your avacado is ripe, but if you want you can do this neat little trick:

Slice your avocado in half, working the knife around the pit longways. Put the knife down, twist the halves, and pull them apart. Slam the knife blade into the pit so it sticks there, and then twist/wiggle the knife until the pit comes out. Practice this honey, you'll have your own cooking show in no time!

Don't throw the pit away! Bury it in the bottom of your guacamole to keep it from turning brown.

Spoon (or fork...or spork!) the avocado out of the skin and plop it into a bowl. Toss in the ingredients below and mash it until just mixed, with a fork. NO BLENDERS PLEASE! It's not soup.

Here are the other ingredients:
  • Lemon juice
  • Salt
  • Chopped fresh tomatoes
  • Jalapeno -- fresh. Diced. DO NOT put your fingers in your eye after dicing. Trust me. And remember, the flavor spreads after the dip sits for awhile. Careful, gringos.
  • Garlic (I use dried and granulated to get the flavor spread around more quickly than the smashed fresh, but if you're a purist...well, smash the fresh)
How much of everything? Well, that depends. The flavor should be balanced. Not too much lemon, not too much salt, generally not too much jalapeno unless you're showing off how much chile you can handle. Definitely not too much garlic. Avocado should be the main attraction.

Some people I know like to substitute a tablespoon or two of salsa for the tomatoes and jalapeno -- now that makes for a really quick guacamole.

Serve in a bright bowl, fresh. Not processed. :-(


  1. Ohhh.... while an expert at slamming knives into avocado pits for purposes of removal, I had NO idea that putting said pit under one's guac would prevent icky brownage.

    I thank you Miz Mary Factoid, and my avocados thank you. ;-p

  2. LOLOL Oh Crystal I haven't used that alias in ages but it's so true, LOL!

    P.S. I just saw that knife tip awhile back on Everyday Italian. It looked so slick!

    Cheers! Mary

  3. I LOVE avocados! I started growing my own avacodo tree from a pit I brought back from CA earlier this summer. It's already about 18 inches tall.

    I tried processed guacamole....once! it was NOT good. I'll stick with making my own. I like a bit of lime juice instead of lemon.

  4. Processed guacamole is some really sick stuff. I'll go hungry if that's all there is. Instead of jalapenos we use pickled pepperoncini. With them you can omit the lemon juice and add a little of the pepperonicini liquid. Still use the tomatoes.

    For a simple but good bean dip I blend a can of chili beans (no meat) with garlic, a touch of chili powder and the jalapeno I didn't use in the guacamole. I blean till pureed, add a little cheese and microwave till hot. It's a little thinner than Fritos brand but a heck of a lot cheaper.

  5. OMG this bead dip recipe sounds so good, and easy!


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